Hey everybody,
I started reading these forums to try and find advice for my situation without having to post it, but, no one else has posted about this here. So, (deep breath) here goes.
?
I'm going to do my best to make this as short as possible. My son who is 3 today suffered injuries (fractures) to his legs and right side of his ribs, a head injury at 5 1/2 months old. Keep in mind there were no outward signs besides more fussiness than usual. (Please don't think I'm taking this lightly, it has been a long uphill struggle spiritually, emotionally, mentally from the time it began.) My husband was blamed. He was in jail for 40 days and then let go on a no bill or something like that. I had my son and was living with my parents during this time. I never believed he hurt him, and especially not maliciously. Only, certain things have come to light about a year after the incident indicating it may have been him.
?
Over a year later, when we were able to live together again me and my son moved in with him. At this time I thought things would finally start getting back to normal, but they got worse. My husband treated me worse than he ever has. We were always screaming at each other, (I was in counseling at this time and still am.) and he called me names, made snide remarks about my weight, destroyed (kicked and punched to pieces) his stuff and a small medium wodden cabinet, threw his game system clothes shoes phone in the dumpster at least 5 times, tried to start physical fights with me at least 2 times, threw or left his ring with me saying he was done, and put us in debt over our eyeballs. (This wasn't even in a 4 month period.) Because of his poor financial decisions we ended up moving back in with my parents.
?
During this time I decided I wasn't going to put my son through what I had to go through and stopped yelling at my husband and would only talk to him if he would talk and not yell. His anger issues are enormous. It really only takes something as small as his shoe not tying right or his seatbelt getting stuck, or a dish not being cleaned when he wants it to make him angry. He is still verbally abusive to me on a daily basis. We recently moved, (August) and right before he said things "were obviously not working out" and that give it six months, (tax refund time) and see how things are then. Now he says, which he says all the time and never really means that he loves me and our son and he doesn't want to live without us and he didn't mean what he said. I don't trust him with our son as he has autism and my husband wants him to sit when he says sit and stay, be quiet on command. For one, he's 3, for another, he's special, so that's not going to work. He never has him alone, and if I'm not there, if he does watch him he's being supervised by my mom and/or brother. He always puts things off on my mom and he says he wants to move out together!! I don't trust him, and he's a liar. Even about little things. He says he's a new christian but isn't acting like it at all.
?
I've been with Father for a long time now. Because of the way he has and continually treats me and our son I don't trust him to move out with him. I honestly don't want to live with him now! I feel bad for it, but, we aren't getting anywhere. My fear is, without my husband's income my dad cannot support this place on his own. My mom has medical issues that prevent her from working but isn't currently receiving help and my younger brother has nothing wrong but no job. I'm doing my best to stay home with my son at least until next year when he'll hopefully start preschool. I don't have any extended family or friends that would help. My sisters are in poverty as well. (Part of our dysfunctinal upbringing.)
?
My problem is that I know I'm not supposed to keep a record of wrongs, but it is still happening currently with his constant bad mood. He says he'll get counseling but makes no effort to go. He insists that he never hurt our son, but he was the only one who could have. (Not purposely.) I was EXTREMELY overprotective of our son as an infant and I was always telling my husband not to do certain things (the way to hold him, etc.) because he wasn't old enough for that yet and could get hurt. I had a emergency c-section and was in a tremendous amount of pain, had to be put completely out, my dad stole my pain killers and it was just an awful time or I might have known something. I still blame myself for then, but for right now, I can't fix our relationship, cause it only takes two for things to change, (Spouse and God) but I can't get over what happened to our son. I have to put him first instead of my husband and I find it hard to pray for him. God did birth forgiveness for him in me recently, but I still can't get past the way he currently is. (I say birth because it was extremely painful to do so and it affected me physically until I agreed with God about it.)
?
He's the kind that thinks if you're you're happy then everything is fine and he's doing what he should even if you tell him opposite and when you don't then the world is falling apart. I just don't know what to do anymore. I know I'm supposed to put him first. I can deal with the way he is and pray for him, BUT my son is in the middle and I WILL NOT sacrifice his safety to do what I am required to by God, which puts me in disobedience and....and....I'm just in a lose-lose situation! I hate this..... sigh.
?
I just need a Christ centered advice, perspective on this one. My counselor is a lukewarm Christian at best and doesn't understand where I'm coming from. If you're not a christian and want to reply I appreciate it, but I NEED someone who UNDERSTANDS where I am at the moment. Thank you for any replies, I appreciate it.
Source: http://www.focusonlinecommunities.com/thread/25513
roseanne barr president green party day 26 gronkowski new hunger games trailer sasquatch david choe
No comments:
Post a Comment